proloqu0r:

I sneezed in class today and a guy shushed me

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*gets down on one knee* will you please give me the wifi password?

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calumashtons:

me: *gets jealous*
me: chill

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baeddelbludd:

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

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lemondifficult:

Applying for jobs is starting to feel a lot like

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  • KID :mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
  • MOM :that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!
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Let’s raise children who wont have to recover from their childhoods

flowrescentonyx:

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT I STOPPED BREATHING

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Socrates himself said, ‘One thing only I know, and this is that I know nothing.’
Remember this statement, because it is an admission that is rare, even among philosophers. Moreover, it can be so dangerous to say in public that it can cost you your life. The most subversive people are those who ask questions. Giving answers is not nearly as threatening. Any one question can be more explosive than a thousand answers.

Jostein Gaarder: Sophie’s World (via sisyphean-revolt)
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foxxycleopatra:

"i can’t figure out this problem"

teacher: use your head

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notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

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glowcloud:

when ur trying to act chill

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